December 2011
I swear my mom is just trying to find reasons to be mad at me now. Hopefully this job I’ve been looking into works out. It’s great pay and I’d be able to move out sooner than I was planning. Dear Job, please work out.
I’m taking fb stalking to a whole new level.. Also, I’ve been texting a guy for a couple of days who is obviously interested in me. But I’m not really interested in him in the same way. Awesommmmmeeee…
I’m so tired of being the broken person. Everybody is fine and I’m the sad lonely broken girl. That every one pities and tries to fix. I just want to be normal for once. I don’t want people constantly trying to fix me or make things okay. Because it’s not okay. I just want a job so I can get out and be free of this place. It’s just making things worse. My sister in...
It is practically impossible for my parents to surprise me. I always find them out somehow. Or I just see through there cover ups. I got a Macbook Pro this year! And I was completely surprised and I am completely happy. [:
I went to Barnes & Noble to buy a book on cognitive thinking that my therapist wants me to buy. I got so bored looking at it that I bought a book on the Red Market and serial killers instead.
I think, perhaps, I am going to quit therapy. Tomorrow might be my last session. I don’t know. I am really ready to move on. I want a job and I want to never look back.
Efffffffffffffffffff
I am incredibly lonely. And in efforts to not answer ads from men on craigslist, I would really like it if you lovely people would talk to me. So that I don’t feel the urge to hang out with strange men. Who according to my dream last night will sexually assault me.
I’m so lonely I’m falling into my old habits. This sucks.
I once stood in the middle of a six lane highway with cars speeding by on both sides. I wish I could go back and relive it.
I have my third session with my therapist tomorrow. I was supposed to think about two things I want to fix because we are laying out my treatment plan tomorrow. I have so many things I hate and want fixed. I feel like I am going to choose the wrong two. And I’ve been doing so much better. But now I’m just as hateful and sad as I was. I can’t tell if I’ve been sad for so long that I blow things out...
